The Anger Management Ring

In an effort to keep up with my New Year’s resolution to be less grumpy, I’ve decided to do something about my overall demeanor when faced with infuriating situations. Normally this wouldn’t be so difficult, but I happen to be severely allergic to dust, pollen, pet dander and bull$#&%. The latter, which seems to be in abundance in my immediate sphere, is also the chief reason for me to lose my temper.

Now most people I mingle with have no idea that I have a temper or even any “rough” emotions at all because I’ve learned to hide it well in face-to-face pleasantries. Alas, if they only knew…

My New Year’s resolution as a result has failed spectacularly. That is until last Sunday when I had a surprise chat with an old friend from high school. You see, she too has had to put up with this issue and she has found a remarkably simple, yet ingenious way of dealing with it.

Eksith, you need a non-sentient target for your emotions.

I informed her that I’ve already destroyed the squeezy-thing I got for Christmas after a couple of 2:00AM calls, but she said the goal isn’t to physically assault anything. She recommended that I get a ring instead. Any ring (stainless, tungsten, silver whatever…) that can serve as the focus to direct all that frustration and anger. I’m to just wear it on my index finger (not the ring finger to avoid misunderstandings) and whenever I feel that temper flare up, I just look down at the ring and slowly turn it around the finger.

It’s basically a form of meditation. You’re not going to break the ring or even your finger. You don’t need to be rough with it at all, but just by directing all of that pent up energy into the ring and slowly rotating it, you’ll feel the stress start to leave you.

I’m quite familiar with meditation as I’ve used breathing focus to get ready for presentations or just calm down before bed. But this is the first time I’m using a device of sorts to accomplish this. My only concern was that people will clearly see that I’m irritated whenever I start rotating the ring, but she just laughed and said that I should do that randomly as well, just to throw them off.

So this past Monday, I ordered a plain stainless steel ring from Amazon.

The Anger Management Ring




All in all, I do think it has started to work. I’m definitely less grumpy now that I used to be last week even with some incredibly bad decisions that I had to deal with at work and some unexpected visits. The main thing I just have to keep in mind is that the vast majority of things I do lose my temper over is best reserved for genuine irritation vs petty incompetence and silliness.

But I think the biggest lesson I’ve learned here is that it’s sometimes better to just feel pity toward your target of irritation rather than anger. After all, anger gives me heartburn.


13 thoughts on “The Anger Management Ring

    • Teenagers!

      Having mutated from one of these mysterious creatures not too long ago myself, may I also suggest the breathing focus technique.

      Pretty simple; just focus on the air entering your nose, into the sinus cavity, down to your lungs and then out the same path.

      Think of the combination as the…
      backwards, backwards, up, up, down, space, enter combination attack to face the final bosses of the household.

  1. im a bit surprised that you bought that ring for this reason, lol. it looks nice though ;)
    Eksith is your name? oh.
    emotion, especially the anger is very hard to control. and very hard to hide too. i’m never good at that.
    so you do have a temper, mate?

    • Oh yes!

      Surprisingly, I’ve managed to hide anger very well. In fact, the friend who suggested the ring therapy didn’t believe me at first whan I told her.

      I guess it’s because I’ve clearly seen what happens to kids who don’t control their temper when I was little. And how adults treat kids when they think they have a temper.

      And, Eksith is my real name ;)

      • oh, that’s not a common name. sounds like german. but you are american right?
        how to hide the emotion? it’s really really hard for me. friends say i’m an open book. you can read everything on my face. :”(

      • Aha! I was actually born in Sri Lanka :D
        Where I visited again last year after many years. It was an interesting moment to say the least since I grew up here and do really feel more American than Sri Lankan.

        No worries, being an open book means you’re an honest person ;)

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