Bank of America Bot Cares About You

I’ll let the horror of automation speak for itself. Not that you need further reassurance that there are no “souls” aboard this ship.

WARNING: Some naughty language (this is completely uncensored).

We'd be happy to review your account with you to discuss any concerns. Please let us know if you need assistance.
  • We’d be happy to review your account with you to discuss any concerns. Please let us know if you need assistance.
  • We are here to help, listen, and learn from our customers and are glad to assist with any account related inquiries.
  • Thank you for following up. Have a great weekend!
  • I work for Bank of America, is there anything I can do to help?
  • Hi [name], what happened? Anything I can do to help?.
  • Thank you for the feedback, we will share it with our leadership team.

I took a bunch of screenshots and stitched it together in Photoshop. The screenshots themselves were completely unaltered.


44 thoughts on “Bank of America Bot Cares About You

  1. Seems like a setup. Only a human could misspell Syrian as Syrain (just search for the BofA_Help reply to @BadKidRebeling). I reckon it’s a human pretending to be a BofA bot. Sorry to spoil the fun. It would have made a great story if it were true.

      • I caught that also (Syrain/Syrian)– my old company used to use Philippine chat hosts for chats like this– mostly, the responses were scripted (they just click for the appropriate response phrase, in their estimation), but often they would have to type the other party’s name or improvise some of the conversation themselves.

        Because of their complete lack of grasp of cultural context, they were little more effective than bots and often made mistakes that bots can’t make. Additionally, the script writers clearly don’t understand social or how to interact with Twitter, also.

      • That’s… rather depressing in a way.

        I mean, if they’re using a script and adhering so closely (and with no cultural context), then they were effectively the worse case of under utilization of human intellect.

  2. Although there are multiple extensions allowing you to get an image of the whole web page, I respect you right to pay money for Photoshop and do the useless editing manually.

    • Although there are multiple opinions you could have provided regarding this post, I respect you for spending time to write about something contributes absolutely nothing to this topic.

    • This might come as a shock, but I actually use Photoshop at work and my copy of CS5 was a tax write-off.

      Also, I don’t believe in installing plugins I rarely, if ever, use.

      Thanks for dropping by.

  3. You people need to grow up. Stop “occupying” and start working and becoming productive members of society. We are tired of carrying your asses. And stop vandalizing public property. Want to draw like a 5 year old? Do it on your mommy’s driveway.

    • I’m not an “Occupyer”. I just came across this Twitter thread and thought it was amusing enough to share.

      For the record, many of the “unemployed” occupyers also have jobs and are in fact productive, tax-paying, members of society.

      Maybe this is their way of being productive outside the rat-race sphere.

      You should talk to a few, instead of making sweeping generalizations and chastising random strangers on the Internet. It shouldn’t be that hard since there are “occupyers” in North Carolina too.

      Thanks for dropping by.

    • Yes. These people should just keep quiet and accept the status quo. That is what America is based on. Nothing ever gets accomplished by speaking up. If they must protest, do it on their mommy’s driveway! Unless, of course, BofA has taken their mommy’s driveway

  4. They were chalking up the sidewalk outside of the Investment Banking operations offices. Those offices don’t handle the mortgages arm of the company. If they really wanted to make point about the mortgage practices, they would have gone to the corporate HQ which is in Charlotte, NC or the mortgages HQ which is in Calabasas, CA. This wasn’t activism, this was boredom.

    • They were doing the same there too. Nick, above, is from NC and you can tell he’s upset at them.

      But the takeaway here isn’t the sidewalk chalk is it?

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  6. HATE BofA. Last year, I get a thick package in the mail from them with big bold letters on front “Act now to avoid foreclosure”. WTF? I think… call them up immediately & after 40 mins of getting passed back & forth between corp drones, I learn that:
    * My escrow account costs went up about $7/month, 2 months ago.
    * BofA not only kept my last 2 auto-payments (meaning I had no idea anything was off), but they didn’t apply them because I was $7 short. Un. F***ing. Believable.
    * They hand’t notified me because some other corp drone not only mis-entered my email, but my phone # as well.
    * They claimed they sent me a letter months 2months ago, but after prodding, I realized that they buried one line of text “your escrow has changed” in 5 pages of the standard “your monthly statement” bullshit that I stopped reading 2 years back. They didn’t see the need to do anything else until I was almost 3 months “late”.

    Morons admitted zero liability (even escalating to the manager of the manager of level 1 support), stuck me with a “60 day late” on my credit report (which they refused to remove), and to top it all off, charged me like $50 in late fees. I was one month away from getting foreclosed on at the same time I had $10K in the bank. I wrote them a “f**k all you assholes” snail mail, and re-fied with another broker within the month, my only stipulation being that they do not end up selling the loan to BofA. I occasionally still pray for the death of everyone involved.

  7. When the End of Times comes, the greedy banksters will burn in the same fires of Hell as the evil people who came up with landmines and IEDs. Hopefully extra hot, with flakes of burning sodium falling from the ceiling.

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