The tomato experiment

Since February of this year, I’ve been running a little experiment blasting hardcore rock, thrash and death metal at my tomato plants. I was slowly increasing the intensity of the music (and I realize for some people “music” isn’t an appropriate descriptor for death metal) and I must say the results have been quite stunning.

This will be after two and half months of solid hardcore music in a week.

Getting ready for plucking soon!

I haven’t been blasting music all day and night, because I’m can’t be home all the time and I don’t want to turn my good neighbors into sworn enemies. Also the volume has been constantly in the medium-low range.

I seemed to have reached a Golidlocks zone with Kataklysm and Samael (couldn’t play Meshuggah without upsetting the neighbors) and other death/hardcore bands didn’t seem to make too much of a difference from these two.

The next season I’m going to try classical to see if it makes a difference.

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Tomatoes love brutal metal even more!

A little while ago, I did an experiment with blasting music at my tomato plants and it turns out to have worked very well. Now, after switching to some heavier music, the results have been even more spectacular.

Growth spurt

I’m seeing more tomato flowers and the few flowers I saw just a while ago are already starting to produce fruit! The secret seems to be switching from plain metal to thrash, black metal and death metal.

This time I’ve been playing them some Samael, Candlemass, Kataklysm, Hipocricy, Battlecross and even some Meshuggah. I couldn’t play Meshuggah for too long before I got a knock on my door from the neighbors, but Samael seems to be more tolerable.

Next time I’m going to try Soilwork (the band, not horticulture treatment) and maybe even Dimmu Borgir.

For those of you who have no idea of what kind of music this is, here’s a small sample.

Warning

This may cause headaches for some people considering it’s one of the most awesome songs in the world. Not to mention one of the most awesome videos.

Tomato plants love metal

If my latest experiments with blasting music at my tomato plants are any hint, I think I may be onto something. I’m sure a lot of people have already heard that music can positively affect the growth of plants. Well my tomato plants seem to love groove metal in particular.

After a week of playing Grip Inc’s (Dave Lombardo’s band) Power of Inner Strength for two solid weeks, they’ve been faring extremely well.

Sorry about the quality; these are, once again, courtesy of my rubbish phone…

 

Sorry about the blur, but those are two tomato flowers

 

This was my mom’s idea… It’s called recycling folks! ;)

Yup, it's an easel!

 

I’ve always been under the impression that I had the horticulture eqiuvalent of the Dim Mak (death touch) in that any plant that I touch, water or otherwise breath on will shrivel up and die within a few days. Metal may be the perfect antidote.

I wonder if thrash metal will have an even bigger effect. I’m thinking of also playing Pantera’s Cowboys from Hell and Vulgar Display of Power or even some Testament and older stuff from Slayer and Megadeth, but considering the level 11 threshold of awesome placked into such works, I may inadvertantly end up stripping the plant of its leaves and will to live. Let’s try baby steps first…

Attention metal fans:

Jeff Loomis is awesome…

That is all.

No, wait. That is not all. I just spent the last couple of hours or so (forgot the rest of the world exists at first, then totally lost track of time) listening to his 2008 album Zero Order Phase. Yes, I’ve been in a cave.

Zero Order Phase

Zero Order Phase

The cacophonous, congruence of caustic resonant consonants will both castigate and compose your soul into a cataclysmic climax.

The entire album contains no singing, no “intros”, no ballads (as we mortals would understand them) and contains nothing but pure unadulterated Rock Juice in the form of Earth-bifurcating guitar riffs.

And now back to work…