It’s coming… better fill the stash

I can’t go more than a week before someone I know tries to convince me the world is coming to an end. Usually it’s the result of poorly informed speculation on the orbit of the asteroid Apophis and its impact hazard, imaginary planets by people who know nothing of orbital mechanics or someone misreading (and miscalculating) dates in holy texts.

The other day, I think I finally came face to face with the evidence of doomsday it and I can’t ignore it any longer.

WTF, Merriam-Webster?!

I can understand parkour being in there, since the phenomenon has been around in one incarnation or another for a very long time. I can also accept “tweet” since these little excepts of our psyche have influenced world events, but “fist bump”? Boomerang child? Helicopter parent?!

You know, the Goths — the term originally defined lack of sophistication, culture and an abundance of vulgarity — attacked Rome (after being invaded first) and it’s said that with this begin the of the fall of the Roman Empire. Well, here’s the proof as I came across it at Walmart. I was convinced this chain will be at least partly responsible for the apocalypse somehow.

But that’s not what I wanted to write about…

Soap, even in Walmart, is starting to get pricey like everywhere else and I didn’t feel like spending $8+ on a bottle of laundry detergent even though I use very little of it. Which got me thinking… can I make my own laundry detergent? Turns out, other people have asked the same question years ago, and lo and behold, they’ve been doing something about it for just as long.


You may notice the Anger Management Ring has switched hands in the pic above. Since it was on the right index finger, it was becoming a problem when I open doorknobs and such.

Dance, Monkeys, Dance!

Ted might not be too happy about this, but…

We’ve clothed ourselves in morality and civility, but the Emperor has no clothes. We’re still very much the same species.

I think a lot of people would like to forget that (and would find it easy to forget) while clutching their Starbucks, robed in their Abercrombie & Fitch stepping in Reeboks…
While running to catch horseless beasts that smell of diesel and smoke to be on time to reach our magnificent concrete and glass cathedrals built to worship fiat money… 
And maybe while they pray to the God, in whome we trust, from time to time when they need Him for something.

But nothing has happened to us biologically that make today’s generations morally superior to the previous hundred.

I’m virtually identical, physically, to a man who would sit in a colosseum watching other men destroy each other. And cheer as men, women and children were brutalised by wild animals.

The lust for bloodsport is no less potent today than it was millennia ago, though killing is slightly out of fasion unless it’s in virtual form. The colosseums of today have catchy titles too : WWE, ECW, Ultimate Fighter… the list is endless.

I have no delusions about my convictions had I been born in those times as morality is, often, an acquired trait. Rarely is it ever innate.
And violence is a fetish; It always has been and, as long as we remain monkeys with Playstations, it always will be. The only difference is that speech has allowed us to convey cumulative values as my parents have learned from theirs and so on, and how I will convey them to my children.

The target of an attack is irrelevant. Whether an imaginary bout with a jerk of a boss, a failed half of a relationship or a future foe in a dark alley. It is merely the justification for the fetish. No amount of logic will dissuade violence if the inclination is strong enough as our synthetic Goliath that is nurture is no match for the David that is our nature.

The real “dark alley” is in our souls.
Some of us have learned to live with it while others reject it. Others still have chosen to embrace it.

And on that depressing note… A very happy year to you too! :D

(Inspiration for the title, courtesy of Ernest Cline)