Movie of the Week: Class of Nuke ’em High

A high school located just a mile from a nuclear power plant… what could possibly go wrong? Everything, that’s what! But don’t worry, the school was a cesspool before the inevitable radiation, and that only made things more interesting.

Readin'... Writin' and Radiation! (This poster exaggerates things a bit)

The school is terrorized by a gang composed of punks, lowlifes and cretins who call themselves… the “Cretins” (makes perfect sense). Meanwhile the rest of the school experiences the bizzare after-effects of the radiation by causing horrific mutations and a “thing” that comes out of a girl’s stomach (it’s not a baby).

There isn’t much of a plot to speak of, but these are not the kinds of movies you watch for depth in story. You watch it to watch weird stuff and though this movie delivers in spades, it still doesn’t have same charm of something from John Waters. Don’t get me wrong, it’s still weird, but it’s a bit bereft of the charm, if that’s the operative word, of a John Waters film. Still definitely worth a weekend watch.

Watch the trailer

Warning: The Earth-shattering trailer is heavily narrated to let us know that this movie is about “The Class of Nuke ’em High” and may contain scenes not appropriate for everyone. Also, it’s 20 kinds of awesome!


Movie of the Week: The Cars That Ate Paris

Every once in a while, I get to watch a movie that really puts things into perspective and brings clarity to my view of society. This isn’t one of them.

The traffic in the township of Paris was murder / They were the cars that ate Paris

This is the story of the small town of “Paris” in middle-of-nowhere Australia, where the residents are causing fatal accidents on purpose to profit from the victims; the unsuspecting visitors. Those who survive the grusome outcome of the locals’ antics — the unlucky ones — are lobotomized and turned into “vegies” and the surgeon has his way with them as medical experiments. The other locals go all Monster Garage on the visitors’ wrecks and turn them into demolition machines for the next round.

That is… until the town’s own unlikely anti-hero turns things around amid the chaos caused by the hotrod hooligans.

Released in 1974, this is an all Australian production and the first feature length movie directed by Peter Weir, better known for his later American films, Dead Poets Society, Master and Commander and The Truman Show.

With a plot that’s a horror-parody of sorts and, although not of the same vibe as Peter Jackson’s Bad Taste, is still just low-budget and ridiculous enough to be thoroughly enjoyable. And just goes to show that directors who make silly low-budget sci-fi/horror/comedy films early in their careers can really surprise you later.

The taglines vary from the original “They were the cars that ate Paris” to the DVD’s “The traffic in the township of Paris was murder”. The American release was retitled “The Cars That Eat People”. If possible, get the original Australian version because it doesn’t have the annoying narrator and is the best one overall.

Watch the trailer

Movie of the Week: Female Trouble

It’s a film by John Waters… Need I say more? Well, maybe I should.

Nice girls don't wear cha-cha heels

Nice girls don't wear cha-cha heels

The film features Divne (pictured center), the drag queen we’ve all grown to love (or run in fear of) as our heroine who turns against society, her mom, and pretty much everyone else who gets in her way.

Feel free to pick up on the not-so-subtle commentary and outright mocking of “common decency” by Waters.

R.I.P. Divine (October 19, 1945 – March 7, 1988).

Movie of the Week: Blood Orgy of the Leather Girls

It’s not a movie with a substantial plot, lesson, class or even a budget. But there are some things to be learned even in a title such as this.

This is the cover for the soundtrack. So you can imagine what the rest of the movie looks like.

This is the cover for the soundtrack. So you can imagine what the rest of the movie looks like.

It was written by two women and directed by one. Starred a female cast. Carries a very strong message about feminism. I’m not quite sure what that message is, but it’s an interesting message nonetheless. A story of revenge, domination, brutality and a whole lot of butt kicking by women.

Sadly, Meredith Lucas, the co-writer and director comited suicide after she failed to secure distribution for the film.

Considering the limited release, it may be hard to find, but you may be able to find a VHS copy on eBay.

Interesting Fact :
Jo Ann Wyman, who starred in this film, went on to be a piercing expert and also made an appearance on the Mythbusters as herself. Specifically the Lightning Strike episode.