Harshest Forum rules Ever!

I’m working on a little forum side project and sent out some feelers to a few friends on who would like to help me moderate. I got a reply back from someone (and this was totally not a surprise) who not only volunteered and happened to be a co-admin with me before, but also forwarded a set of block messages for filtered posts that I had written 12 years ago! My how times change.

He said this was on a backup CD of the code found in some drawer.

We have filtered your post for the following reason(s) :

  • Your post is mostly in uppercase.
    Besides being harder to read on a screen, writing in uppercase is considered rude in online forums and is the text equivalent (since we can’t hear you) of yelling.
  • Your post has a high number of exclamation marks.
    This is totally unnecessary and gets on the readers’ nerves. One is good, two is OK, three is pushing it and four or more is just plain idiotic.
  • Your post is incomprehensible.
    Your post appears to be written in English, but it is unlike any form of the language we know. It would be nice if you are able to post something rest us can understand. Grammar, logic and coherence are vitally important.
  • Your post is in the wrong language forum.
    Obviously not every visitor is completely fluent in English, but since English is the primary language of this forum, we’ll have to move it to the appropriate language forum.
  • You posted something that has been repeated ad nauseam.
    It’s good to drive home a point if you truly believe it, but it’s not good to do so in an almost identical fashion to previous posts. Please be original.
  • Your post is short, but still contained “ALL YOUR BASE”.
    This usually means there’s a high likelihood your post is really quite stupid, unproductive or quite possibly both.
  • Your post might be spam.
    Our community has flagged your post for our review. This could be a misidentification, in which case we’ll let it through shortly, or if it is spam, it will be deleted.

Please familiarise yourself with the etiquette of posting here; feel free to browse and get used to the posts that did get published so you may add to them soon.

Whenever a post was held in moderation on the forum, the commenter would be shown some combination of these.

These were the preprogrammed responses to one of the very, very, very old forum software I wrote, which ran on my Windows 2000 server with ASP and VBScript (HA!)

Can’t wait to take it apart and see how far I’ve come. Totally looking forward to a nostalgia trip.

2 thoughts on “Harshest Forum rules Ever!

    • Posting memes became a meme, so yeah ;)

      Most of our posters came from Usenet and, it was a few years later, but they were still mourning the Eternal September so these were very well received. Also the posts that went through the filter were all made by anonymous users or those with registered accounts less than two weeks old and had less than 50 posts.

      Think of it as letting your vines grow tall and strong, but not too far away from the scaffold.

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