Bind and gag your children when you send them to school

… Especially if they use public transportation.

Does anyone have ducktape?

Begin old man rant…

Is there anything on the same league of annoyance as someone talking loudly on a cell phone on the train than a group of juvenile helium baloons discussing inane babble as if no one else has to thoughts of their own? The loud ones in particular make me consider starting a free condom drive in populous neighborhoods and hold seminars on the virtues of corporal punishment.

When the consistency of your children’s real world converstions border or surpass those of lolchat, it’s time to consider letting them drop out. At least they’ll be off my train.

When I was in school, we talked about everything from politics, religion, science and the news to those terribly corrupting video games and music (Marilyn Manson was just becoming popular). But not matter the subject, at least we used real words and, on the train, we didn’t pretend we owned the whole car!


2 thoughts on “Bind and gag your children when you send them to school

  1. I meant to leave a comment about this before, but this is exactly at least a small part of my motivation behind pursuing a PhD: I’m surrounded by like-minded people who abhor conservations consisting exclusively of four-letter words and obnoxious acronyms. Having been blessed to be able to attend a very competitive high school, I was also cursed by being surrounded by very sheltered, very close-minded rich individuals whose conservations could be reduced to exactly the images you have posted. I lost a lot of brain cells from having to endure those conversations.

    • Yes! Stay as far above from the pond scum as possible!

      I had to endure a particularly bad case that day.

      In the morning, I usually get lost in my thoughts or take a quick nap on the train, but these helspawn crickets just kept going.

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