Of all the delights of reading Tintin, one of the best has to be the expletives by Captain Haddock. Hergé‘s brilliant tip-toing around the delicate nature of censorship and common decency certainly adds to an already entertaining series.
Haddock is a great character and, in many ways, more realistic and human than any others in the series. Aside from the drinking and smoking, I can certainly relate to him. As an individual with many, many flaws, I’m at least trying to be a better person, damnit!
Since Wikipedia, in its infinite wisdom, declared that his list of curses was non-encyclopedic in nature, I’ve taken the liberty of replicating them here. Credits go to the Tintinologist and David Brooks.
Merry Christmas and a happy cursing!
A
- Aardvark!
- Abecedarians!
- Aborigine!
- Addle-pated lumps of anthracite!
- Algorithmic asymptote!
- Anachronisms!
- Anacoluthons!
- Anthracite!
- Anthropithecus!
- Anthropophagus!
- Arabian Nightmare!
- Artichokes!
- Autocrats!
- Aztecs!
B
- Baboons!
- Baby-snatchers!
- Bagpipers!
- Bald-headed budgerigar!
- Bandits!
- Bashi-bazouks!
- Bath-tub Admiral!
- Beast!
- Belemnite!
- Billions of billious barbecued blue blistering barnacles!
- Billions of Billious Blue Blistering Barnacles!
- Billions of Blue Blistering Barnacles!
- Black beetles!
- Black Marketers! Blackamoor!
- Blackbird!
- Blackguards!
- Blistering Barnacles!
- Blistering blundering birdbrain!
- Bloodsuckers!
- Blue blistering barnacles!
- Blue Blistering Bell-Bottomed Balderdash!
- Blunderbuss!
- Bodysnatcher!
- Bootlegger!
- Borgia!
- Bougainvillea!
- Brat!
- Breathalyser!
- Brigands!
- Brutes!
- Bucaneers!
- Bully!
- Butcher!
C
- Cachinnating cockatoo!
- Cannibals!
- Carpetsellers!
- Caterpillars!
- Centipede!
- Cercopithecus!
- Coelocanth!
- Colocynths!
- Corsair!
- Cowards!
- Crabapples!
- Crooks!
- Cushion footed quadrupeds!
- Cyclotron!
D
- Diplodocus!
- Dogs!
- Doryphore!
- Doryphores!
- Duck-billed platypus!
- Dunderheaded coconuts!
- Dynamiter!
E
- Ectoplasms!
- Egoists!
F
- Fancy-dress Facist!
- Fancy-dress Fatima!
- Fatfaces!
- Filibusters!
- Fourlegged Cyrano!
- Freshwater swabs!
- Fuzzy wuzzy!
G
- Gallows-fodder!
- Gang of Theives!
- Gangsters!
- Gibbering anthropoids!
- Gobbledegook!
- Gogglers!
- Goosecaps!
- Guano-gatherer! Gyroscope!
H
I
J
K
L
- Lily-livered landlubbers!
- Loathsome brute!
- Logarithim!
- Lubberscum!
M
- Mille Sabords!
- Miserable blundering barbecued blister!
- Miserable earthworms!
- Miserable miser!
- Miserable molecule of mildew!
- Misguided missiles!
- Mister Mule!
- Monopolizers!
- Monster!
- Morons!
- Moujiks!
- Mountebanks!
- Musical morons!
N
O
P
- Pachyrhizus!
- Parasites!
- Patagonians!
- Pestilential Pachyderm!
- Phylloxera!
- Pickled herrings!
- Pirates!
- Pithecanthropic montebanks!
- Pithecanthropuses! Pockmarks!
- Politican!
- Poltroons!
- Polygraphs!
- Polynesian!
- Profiteers!
- Psychopath!
- Purple profiteering jellyfish!
- Pyrographers!
R
S
- Saucy tramp!
- Savages!
- Scorpion!
- Sea-gherkin(s)!
- Sea-lice!
- Shipwreckers! (dirty)
- Slavetrader!
- Slubberdegullion son of a sea-serpent!
- Sparrows!
- Spitfire!
- Steamroller!
- Stoolpigeon!
- Subtropical sea-louse!
- Swine!
T
- Technocrat!
- Ten thousand thundering typhoons!
- Terrapins!
- Terrorists!
- Thundering typhoons!
- Tin hatted tyrant!
- Toads!
- Toffee–noses!
- Tonnerres de Brest!
- Traitors!
- Tramps!
- Troglodytes!
- Turncoats!
- Twister!
- Two-timing Troglodytes!
V
- Vandal!
- Vegetarian!
- Vermicellis!
- Viper!
- Visigoths!
- Vulture!
W
Z
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Haha brilliant! I look forward to using as many of these as possible in conversation.
Oh please, use as many and as often as necessary! ;)